For a long time, I dreamed up this version of myself. Someone who desired things that were
Unreal things,
Like a ghost of the past
Hm..
Longing for someone who moved
Planes-- or spaces or whatever
Ghosts deal in--
Eons ago
These things don't exist now.. and did they ever? But the dream and the reality converged. They converged on one point. Converging like the number eight...
Where is this going? I'm not following.
..That point being me. Listen.. I know this bit is tired but you are, in fact, getting paid to listen.
Am I?
Well, the currency doesn't come from my hands, so it it real?
Ok, fine, Socrates. I'm listening.
Anyway, I've heard of people pretending to be
Insane
For Whatever reason
They keep it up
Suddenly
It becomes true
At some point, the confines
Of the mind
Break, shatter, what have you
That mind is lost, true
So what replaces it?
You're not Insane
Well, it's probably a spectrum. Confining a subject to its poles is so limiting, but--yes, generally, you're right.
So are you just stalling? We don't have all the time in the world
You definitely do. No need to be in such a rush, you know.
Maybe
Either way, I'll pick it up.
Don't you ever get tired of this
Spinning?
Around, and around.
In and out.
Poking and probing yourself
Finding what hurts and continuing
Until you can't take it
Then dwelling on why it hurts so badly
After you've irritated and imbittered this previously
Insignificant little tiny qualm of yourself?
No, not particuarly. Don't think you're really on the money. Anyway this
Person I was, or am. Still am.
Gets caught up wondering
About this.. other me.
Is he real, somewhere within me?
I am the
Fabric of Him and
He is the making of my mind and
For a while,
He held the dials that made Him.
So What?
What, I can't care about myself, my mind? What happened to self love?
This is different, and you're losing me.
Not a chance. Anyway, what if a hand is still on a dial? Or all of them?
He is me. I am him.
That I am partially constructed
Artificially and unrealistically
Made myself
Hands, head, body
All of it
Oh, are you talking about ego?
Maybe. I am tired now though, maybe the merry-go-round you mentioned isn't so far off.
It was more than that, it's not literally spinning. It's-
Well, sure, whatever.